Email Content Editing
You’d like to think everyone reads every word of the marketing emails you send, but let’s be real: it’s not happening. Our partners in Extended Studies wanted to refresh their email content, so they sent their raw text for edits. I updated it to have a more friendly tone and formatted it to be skimmable and easy to understand. Some of my edits are below, and more of my edits can be read here (PDF).
Original Text:
A lot has changed since you left Boise State, like your reasons for finishing your degree.
Boise State offers convenient and supportive online, daytime, and evening classes to help you complete your degree.
Explore your interests, review the credits you’ve already earned, and find the best fit for your life.
You’re close to finishing your degree. Let’s see how close.
Click the button below to schedule a meeting with an experienced Bronco ReConnect advisor.
My Revisions:
Your life has changed a lot since you left Boise State, and your reasons for finishing college may have changed too.
The good news is Boise State offers convenient ways for you to complete your degree now, including:
Online, daytime and evening classes
Support staff to help you stay on track
Scholarships for returning students
Get in touch with us to explore your interests, review the credits you’ve already earned, and find the best fit for your life.
You’re close to finishing your degree--find out how close.
Click the button below to set up a chat with an experienced Bronco ReConnect advisor.
Original Text:
Hello,
Do you have a lot of work experience you wished could translate into college credit? Boise State University has implemented Credit for Prior Learning. Now you can turn your rich work history into college credit.
An advisor can tell you more about this opportunity. Click here to book an appointment to find out how you can turn your experience into college credit and inch that much closer to finishing your degree!
Contact our office at (208) 426-1896.
Go Broncos!
My Revisions:
Hello,
Shouldn’t your work experience count toward your college degree? We think so! Boise State University now has a Credit for Prior Learning program. This means your rich work history can turn into college credit, saving you money and speeding up the process of completing your degree.
An advisor can tell you more about this opportunity. Click here to book an appointment to find out how you close you are to finishing your degree!
Contact our office at (208) 426-1896.
Go Broncos!
